Fun-Unlimited, d integral part of Human-life...

My dear Friends, Today i have decided to take U all, on a journey... don't be soo alert, bcoz it's a 'comedy-express'... OK..if U don't want a train, Let us be on a 'lighter plane'! Today, No heavy-weight-thoughts-boxing-U-down.... So, happy to be on roller-coaster-slide-of-fun-unlimited? Here R some jokes V all can enjoy.... Let us start d tempo with a one involving "Blonde" n beautiful"! 1)Cough Syrup..... The pharmacist walks into the store to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. He asks the blonde clerk: "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The blonde clerk responds: "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him a bottle of laxative!" The pharmacist said: "You can't treat a cough with a laxative!" The blonde clerk responds, "Of course you can! Well i can prove my point... Look at him, he's totally afraid to cough!! 2)Sardar's revenge with an Australian grocery store!   Sardar goes to Woolworths Mega-store... He finds cat food at special prices! He picks a dozen cans of cat food n goes to check out. The Manager gets suspicious... He thinks that this guy cannot have a cat n will probably feed cat food to his kids! He asks Sardar to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food... Sardar promptly goes home  n returns with a cat... n gets to buy the cat food. Next week Sardar finds dog food at special prices! He picks a dozen cans of dog food n goes to check out! D Manager again gets suspicious... He thinks that this guy has a cat but he cannot have a dog n he will probably feed dog-food to his kids! He asks Sardar to bring n show him the dog before he can let him have dog food....   D Sardar goes home and returns with a dog! He gets to buy the dog food. Next week an Indian comes to Woolworths with a bag. He asks d manager to put his hand in d bag. The Manager puts his hand in the bag, feels something slimy.... n immediately takes it out! He shouts at Sardar, What the **** is this? Is this shit you idiot? Sardar calmly replies, Yes it is. Bcoz I want to buy toilet paper!!!   3)Best Come-back-Response Of The Year If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense-attorney during a felony trial. D lawyer was trying to undermine D policeman's credibility.. .. Q: 'Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?' A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person     matching d description of d offender,     running several blocks away.' Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description? ' A: 'The officer who responded to d scene.' Q: 'A fellow officer provided d description of this so-called     offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?' A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.' Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer.     Do you have a room where you change your clothes     in preparation for your daily duties?' A: 'Yes sir, we do!' Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?' A: 'Yes sir, I do.' Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?' A: 'Yes sir.' Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers     with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker     in a room you share with these same officers?' A: 'You see, sir -- we share d building with d court complex,     n sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through     that room.' The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- n surely he'll win, hands down for his remarkable Presence of mind! 4)Husbands R husbands... A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the Head with a frying pan! "What was that for?" the man asked. The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name 'Julie' on it that I found in your pants pocket". The man then said "When I was at the races last week, 'Julie' was the name of the horse I bet on" The wife apologized and went on with the housework. Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him, on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious! Upon re-gaining consciousness d man asked why she had hit again. Wife replied. "Bcoz, Your horse called up !!!!"     5)Wives are wives…. A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her nine-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, sees d illegal lovers n hides in d bedroom cupboard to watch.... then the woman's husband unexpectedly comes home! She hides her lover in the cupboard, not realizing that her little boy is in there already... The little Boy says: 'Dark in here.' The Man says:'Yes, it is.' Boy: 'I have a soccer ball, do you want to buy it?' Man: 'No, thanks.' Boy: 'My dad's outside, I'll call him if U don't buy it!' Man: 'OK, how much?' Boy: '$1,000.' A few weeks later it happened again, n d boy n d lover were in d cupboard together again! Boy: 'Dark in here.' Man: 'Yes, it is.' Boy: 'I have soccer boots.' The Man, remembering d last time, asks d boy: 'How much?' The Boy says :'$5,000.' The Man says: 'Fine, I will buy them.' A few days later, d Father says to d boy: 'Grab your ball n boots, let's go outside & have a game.' The Boy says: 'I can't, I sold them for $ 6,000.' The Father says: 'That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... $ 6,000 is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church n make you confess your 'SINS'! They go to church and d father makes d little boy sit in the confession booth n he closes d door... The Boy says: 'Dark in here.' The Priest says: 'Don't start that again!!'                            Dears, Fun is d integral part of Human-life... So Let us don't forget this! Let us Enjoy it by being in d present moment... This is Tima wishing U all,         A very Happy n Joyful 'Holi'-Day... Shlok of d day- Aadau Brahmaa Madhye Vishnuhu Ante Devaha Sadaashivaha| Murti Traya Swaroopaaya Dattatreya Namostu Te|| Tip of d day- Young persons should always eat, whole-form(without peeling)of fruits n veggies. Only old persons with teeth-problems, should opt for juices. For Every day's balanced diet, intake of 1 seasonal fruit n one bowl of following is ideal- 1)Boiled green-leafy-veggies 2)boiled sprouted pulses